This post was originally published on June 5th, 2016 and has been updated with slight stylistic changes.
It’s time to talk about poop. We’ve been held hostage by Big Toilet for far too long, and now is the time to rise up, put the seat down, and expel the oppressors from our homes!
Our toilets are not designed for pooping. Rather, they’re terrible porcelain thrones that keep us stuck there for a lifetime playing games on our phone.
But there’s a better way:
Don’t believe me? Check out this cute video featuring the Squatty Potty.
You don’t have to go out and buy a Squatty Potty (although I highly recommend it). You can make do with a box, small step ladder, or any other item that’s half a foot tall or more. What matters is that you overcome the absolutely horrific design of the modern toilet by any means necessary.
By pooping in a natural position, you’ll save time, energy, and money by getting in and out of the bathroom quicker than ever with less grunting and pushing, and leaving less of a mess to wipe up when you’re finished.
You’ve literally been throwing your life and money down the drain. So stop it. And poop the way you’ve always been meant to!
The One Thing: Get a Squatty Potty or some other equivalent so you can poop the way you were meant to.
Lane Sawyer is an IT consultant at Pariveda Solutions in Seattle, WA. He enjoys writing articles like this one when he’s not working on some new project, tackling a challenging video game, or running around outside in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. You can find out more about him on his website.