Catastrophizing for Good
June 20, 2020•434 words
So my friend and I were talking about how crazy 2020 has been. Both of us can be pessimistic at times about the direction our country is headed (or as I call it, being realistic), so we did some catastrophizing with over-the-top things so we can be wrong about some of the bad stuff coming up this year.
I ended up writing a short story! I really enjoy creative writing and need to do it more! The story below could use a bit more substance, dialog, descriptions, and all the stuff that makes a story great, but until I get around to fleshing it out, I thought I'd share the texts I sent!
I bet that Trump loses, refuses to step down, and the military backs him.
we go full on "man in the high castle"
and you and I join Antifa
we plan an ocean's 11 type adventure to steal Trump's hairpeace, removing all his power
turns out, Trump is actually a really good fighter
so we fight him and you tear his hairpiece off
turns him into a lizard personnnnnnn
and so then we're like, oh shit, Alex Jones was right
and Alex Jones bursts through the wall, Kool-aid man style
so we join his elite lizard fighting team, which we take into space
turns out they have a moon base
well, thankfully the hairpiece has the key to stopping all the lizards
we reverse engineer the cloaking technology in the hairpiece and use it to disguise ourselves while we infiltrate the moon base
we learn their customs, live among them
eventually we realize, they're just people too
but we have mission
we discover where they keep the nukes, and go plant some malware (turns out, they LOVE Windows systems so it was easy to write a good malware bot)
but we get discovered!
we fight our way back to the ship
I lose an arm in an epic sword match with the biggest lizard man we've seen yet. I dispatch him, but the move costs me my arm
we get back to the ship and launch, taking our little lizard puppy Spiky along for the ride
and it blows up epicly in the background
we take the hairpiece home and display it predominantly. Thanks to its powers, we have wonderful new tech to lead us into a peaceful, new world.
It truly was